Gender Benders
by Aki-sama
Summary: Danny has a run in with what he believes to be a ghost, but she's actually a Goddess! She swears vengeance upon Danny Phantom. He shrugs it off until he realizes that her vengeance comes complete with genderswapping madness.Can he survive? Doubt it.
1. A Big Misunderstanding

A/N: First of all, I know this is a complete deviation from all my other stuff at the moment. I had been taking a break from fanfiction, just so everyone's clear on that.

….

But I kinda came back to the fold anyway. (sheepish grin)

I'll be working on the other stuff as soon as I can get to it. I've already started on some of the new chapters!

(cough) Anyway, this is an experiment. If you like, review and tell me so, so I can keep going, or abandon on the side of the road.

P.S. This a shorter first chapter than what I usually do, but this IS an experiment. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't Danny Phantom. If I did…well, let's just say I'd have plans. (wicked grin)

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**Gender Benders  
**_Chapter One: A Big Misunderstanding_

"So…what are we gonna do about this 'Talent Show' thing?"

Sam scowled marvelously as she punched her friend Tucker in the arm. "Absolutely nothing whatsoever," she growled.

She looked to her only other best friend in the world for support and saw that he wasn't paying attention to the conversation at all. "Danny?"

"Huh?" muttered her raven-haired friend, "What were you saying?"

"Hello? The Talent Show? Were you even _in_ that classroom?" she said, her voice teasing.

She smiled as Danny groaned, and snuck in an appreciative glance at her longtime friend and half ghost.

Sam remembered how, back in the days of freshman year (not that long ago actually, only a year), Danny had been a scrawny kid. Honestly, she wasn't surprised when all his fighting finally started to affect his build. Unfortunately nobody else seemed to notice his new, ahem, physique, as he wore the same baggy clothes he had ever worn. Sam didn't seem to mind though. She could admire him any –

Oh cripes…she was _not_ going to think like that anymore! Yeesh, after all that yelling about how she wasn't involved with Danny, and _she _was the one that had to get all mushy anyway. _I hate my life_, she thought morbidly.

"Ah, it's not like I have any talents anyway," said Danny casually, "Lancer's gonna make sure I don't get involved because of my extensive history with accident-prone disasters."

Both Sam and Tucker gave their friend a pointed look and Danny blinked in surprise, embarrassed, "Uh…I mean no talent that I can expose, right?"

"Oh," said Tucker grinning as he absently kicked a rock off the sidewalk, "Then yeah, I guess you're right Danny. No talents to speak of at all."

Danny shot a dark look at Tucker from under his bangs, but both of his friends saw that he didn't mean it at all. "Thanks for your unwavering support."

"No prob!" answered his best friends in unison.

He sighed and ruffled his raven colored hair with his free hand, "Agh…but really? I don't want to do it. You think Lancer will let us off the hook?"

"Ha!" barked Tucker loudly, "You think Lancer's let us off the hook for anything? Ever? At All?"

Danny shoved his hands in his pockets and rolled ice-blue eyes skyward while Sam tried not to laugh.

"Besides," Tucker said seriously, "what would you do, if we have to do this…'Talent Show' thing?" He flipped out his ever present PDA and started typing things into it. Sam had always wondered what on earth he kept in that thing.

"Well, I would probably do a poetry slam," said Sam proudly, "I'm pretty good at it now."

Tucker shook his head and muttered something that sounded like, "Goth maniac," in low tones. Sam gave him a narrow glare and he cringed. Looking away from his PDA, Tucker spoke up. "I think I might do some kind of 3-D animation of some sort…you know, like Pixar and all that? I know how, and I think it would work."

"You know CGI?" asked Sam, her eyes widening with Danny's. This was new.

"Yeah," Tucker shrugged casually, "But I've never done anything that big before. It'd be good practice."

"What about you Danny?" asked Sam with an air of casual conversation, "What do you think you'll do?"

The halfa sighed and looked up at the afternoon sunlit sky. "I might have to –"

He gasped and his breath turned to mist.

All three friends shared a knowing look.

Danny grumbled under his breath, "…go ghost."

A large amount of property damage and quite a few insults later, Danny had touched down in front of his house and changed back to his human self. Skulker was _such_ a pain in the butt. A few moments later, Sam and Tucker ran up to meet him.

"Are you guys ok?" asked a weary looking Danny, his shoulder leaning up against his home's brick wall.

"Wow…that was the worst timing ever," huffed Tucker as he finished running.

"No," fought Sam, though she was breathing heavily as well, "There have been worse times. Much worse."

The three teens smiled at each other somberly, remembering those times, which really weren't that long ago. Danny waved an impatient hand at his friends and headed to the front door of his house.

"I'll talk to you guys online later," he said as he unlocked the door, grinning, "See you."

"Bye Danny!" "See you later!" called his two friends as they started their walk back to their respective houses.

Sam wrote a few lines of poetry in her black and purple diary with her black pen, humming to herself. She was lying on her stomach, sprawled on her bed, a few black candles burned next to her on her black dresser. She had her feet rested on her pitch colored pillows, and a small breeze drifted in from an open window, ruffling her black gauze drapes. Shifting from arm to arm, Sam rustled her sheets which were…well, let's put it this way, they weren't pink.

Prepping for her so-called poetry slam was a must. There was simply too much inexperience for her to go up on stage and regurgitate some pre-packaged stereotypical Goth "Life is a hateful pit of despair" garbage. This time, she was going back to the classics…some Shakespeare, maybe a little Blake….

Her eyes drifted over her Lit book, and she caught a bit of Shakespeare.

"In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes.

For they and thee a thousand errors note.

But 'tis my heart loves what they despise,

who in despite of view is pleas'd to dote."

She couldn't help but grin. If she could come up something that was less than half as good as Shakespeare, she would be honored. And it would hopefully blow her parents' minds. They couldn't say no to poetry.

"Ah," she sighed to herself as her IM rung at her from her laptop. "That would be Danny."

**TypicalHaunt:** hey sam

**Raveninflight:** Danny!

**TypicalHaunt: **you still typing in 'perfect english'?

**TypicalHaunt: **

**Raveninflight:** …

And they continued in that manner, teasing and sniping at each other until Tucker "Technogeek0110" came back on, and then the subject somehow slipped back to that damnable "Talent Show."

Sam typed quickly, asking her question from earlier in the day. What on earth was Danny going to do? Honestly, though she loved him, she had no idea what special talents he had acquired over his lifetime. Aside from the obvious.

**Raveninflight:** Soo…Danny. What are you going to do?

**TypicalHaunt:** i dunno…

**Technogeek0110:** yeah, what are you gonna do? dance?

**Raveninflight:** Oh dear lord, I hope not.

**TypicalHaunt:** hey!

**Raveninflight:** Come on; you are a boy doomed to a life with two left feet.

**Technogeek0110:** she's got a point ya know

**Raveninflight:** Indeed. I speak the truth.

**Raveninflight:** P

**TypicalHaunt:** haha…i'm dyin' here.

**Technogeek0110:** you could do what you did during sam's "save the frogs"

spiel…

**TypicalHaunt:** …murders in cold blood

**Raveninflight:** HA! You two kill me.

**TypicalHaunt:** i gtg.

As Danny signed off, obviously in a hurry, Sam couldn't help but frown. She paused in her typing and snuck a quick glance out her window, a worried look crossing her countenance.

She hoped it wasn't anything too serious.

"Mmm, chocolate. Woman's best friend."

The woman would have sounded completely normal to any general passerby. It is a known fact that every woman, or girl, loves her chocolate.

The reason people screamed at this statement, instead of giving off a polite giggle, was because this particular woman was floating. And glowing. It was a sure sign of the abnormal, and in Amity Park, this meant that (save for about five or six particular people) it was time to head for the hills.

This is how a normally packed mall emptied in less than five minutes.

"Uh, Miss?"

The woman turned, her eyes glowing a bright silver color. Dark locks drifted in the air, and her outfit, though a bit Xena-ish, looked fit for royalty. She bit off a piece of the chocolate in her hand and smiled winningly. "Yes?"

Danny floated a few feet behind the strange chocolate-fixated ghost. He blinked in confusion at the lack of hostility, and then grinned shrugging. "You're kind of scaring away the customers. Mind going somewhere else to buy chocolate?"

She frowned and quickly finished her chocolate, lowering herself to the ground as she did so. "You look awfully young," she said, not unkindly, "For a ghost, especially."

Danny decided to touch down and walk over. "Aren't you a ghost?"

The woman smiled, her eyes shining even in the store's fluorescent lighting. "I am a goddess."

Privately, Danny thought this was ridiculous. But, saying that out loud might make the situation worse. "Really?" he couldn't help but drawl.

She frowned again, this time unkindly. "You do not believe me." Her voice had gone from warm and sunny to cold and icy in a split second. Danny was strongly reminded of Jazz or Sam…or even his Mom, on one of their off days.

"What are you, really?" he asked again, shifting his feet and arms into a defensive stance. He smirked, "Aside from someone stuck in 'that time of the month.'"

This, however, was the wrong thing to say.

The woman's eyes turned completely white, and her clothing seemed to morph into a battle-ready suit of ancient armor. A bow and arrow appeared in her hands and the glow around her intensified to the point where even Danny had to shield his eyes.

"You DARE," she all but roared. She put a foot forward and shot an arrow in Danny's direction. He collected his instincts and went intangible just in time for the arrow to hit the air where he was previously.

_Whoa, that was FAST! How did she do that?_

He didn't get another chance to think as a slew of arrows pelted the space around him, and he danced around them, using muscles he didn't even know he had.

"Men!" she hissed, as she shot more arrows at the offending ghost's direction. "They are ALL the SAME!" She held up a hand to her lips and whistled sharply. An instant later, two hunting dogs appeared by her side, growling and snarling. "Get him!" she cried. "No man who insults Artemis of the Hunt shall live to see his next sunrise!"

Though Danny had slept through most of Lancer's Literature classes, the name 'Artemis' rang a bell. He blasted the dogs with two bursts of ectoplasmic energy, and they went down successfully. Danny flew upwards towards the skylight, just out of range.

"Hey, you were the one stealing chocolate!" he shouted down to the crazy woman. "Don't blame me for your weird cravings!"

"ARGH!" she screamed, "You shall PAY for your insolence, ghost child!" Her hands dropped her bow and shot out a beam of bright silver that sliced through the air, hitting Danny straight in the chest and snapping his head backwards. The blow pushed him into the skylight and outside into the sky, where he proceeded to drop like a stone into the concrete, creating a large crater when he hit.

The woman's eyes returned to their normal silver, and her clothes shifted back to the ancient formal gown she had worn previously. She smiled, her eyes dark with retribution, then faded away, a piece of chocolate still in her hands.

_Soon, you shall understand EXACTLY what it is like…ghost boy._

"You look like you've been run over by a truck."

"Thanks Jazz," muttered Danny, holding his head with an ice pack, "The support is well appreciated."

Jasmine, or Jazz, smiled down on her little brother. "I'm sorry to hear that she got away," she said, her voice warm, "You'll get her next time, Danny."

"What kind of 'goddess' is she anyway?" he asked to no one in particular. "Goddess of Chocolate Addicts and Bad Temper?" His voice took on a bitter note. "I still don't understand how she moved so quickly…no ghost I've ever fought, and that includes myself, ever moved that fast."

"What was her name? You never told me," asked Jazz as she opened her laptop, starting it up.

"Uh," said Danny, "She said something about regretting insulting 'Artemis of the Hunt' or something like that."

Jazz, who had been typing peacefully, twitched violently. "WHAT?" she practically yelled.

Danny scooted backwards in surprise before frowning. "I take it you recognize the name?" he said needlessly.

"Danny," Jazz started patiently, "How many of Lancer's lectures did you sleep through? Did you miss the first half of the semester?" She glared at him. "Artemis is the Greek Goddess of the Moon and of the Hunt! She's famous in Greek mythology!"

Her little brother looked guilty. "It did ring a bell," he said sheepishly. He blinked at his sister's huff and tilted his head. "I guess that means she really was a goddess."

Jazz delivered a perfectly executed 'duh!' look in his direction. Danny frowned before yawning and looking at the clock.

"Oh man, I have to sleep," he said tiredly. Jazz managed a small smile and patted him on the back.

"You might not get her, but I'm sure she'll get over whatever you did to her to make her mad," she said in an encouraging manner. "Good night little bro."

Danny yawned again, and waved his own 'good night' back. After falling backwards onto his bed and turning off the lights, he wondered briefly why the gnawing feeling in his stomach hadn't left him yet.

_Eh, forget it._ He flipped over and sighed to himself. _I'm going to sleep._

It was a cold morning when he awoke.

The rain outside wasn't pouring. And it wasn't raining. It was deluging down in an unbroken torrent of water.

He shuffled himself deeper into his sheets and prayed to any deity nearby for it to be a Saturday instead of the Monday he was expecting it to be. A quick squint at the calendar on his wall proudly proclaimed the date as a Monday; no such luck.

He groaned audibly and twisted himself into an impossibly curled position.

_I refuse to get up…this is cruel and unusual punishment_.

His eyes blinked sluggishly as his mind fought with his body; one wanted to sleep in sweet slumber, the other insisted that, if he was late to class again, somebody was going to kill him.

Still, his body refused to move as it reminded his mind firmly that at around 3:00am this morning he had been stuffing that annoying Box Ghostinto a Fenton Thermos.

Danny Fenton was _tired_, and probably a whole slew of other synonyms, and he didn't want to wake up.

So, he fell back to sleep, only slightly aware that his bed seemed bigger than usual, and his hair was a long ways past his shoulders.

Danny awoke again with his older sister's voice calling his name urgently.

He had found a way to shuffle himself completely under his covers, so Jazz was currently shaking him by the shoulder.

"Danny! Wake up!" she said, her voiced raised slightly, "You're gonna be late!"

He deigned to give her a moan and a muffled mutter of, "I feel horrible Jazz…can't I be sick for once?"

Pausing, he cleared his throat. His voice sounded weird and a little bit…off. Maybe he was sick.

Apparently, Jazz noticed too. "Danny? Wow, maybe you are sick," she said concerned, unintentionally following his train of thought.

Sighing, he reached out from under his covers and brought himself to sit up in bed, rubbing his eyes. He was tired yes, but he still managed to notice his sister freeze and tense up, her eyes widening.

He shifted his gaze to her, absently noting that something had brushed his elbow when he had turned his head. "Jazz?" he said, now a little worried.

Jazz opened her mouth and then quickly shut it. She repeated this action a few more times before completely closing her jaw completely.

"Jazz," Danny repeated, this time his tone was irritated, "What are you staring at?"

"Y-you should go look in the mirror Danny."

"I know what I look like at 7:42 in the morning Jazz, thanks," muttered Danny as he tried clearing his throat again to make his voice a little less high-pitched and nasally. Dangit…maybe he really was sick.

"No," said Jazz, her voice wobbly and squeaky, "Really, you should just take a quick look in the mirror." She jerkily gestured to the mirror on his bureau, her body still stiff.

Or…maybe Jazz had finally snapped. Climbing quickly out of bed, Danny stumbled a little and shook his head. _My center of balance is off_, he thought absently to himself. Ignoring the strange light-as-a-feather feeling he was getting, he shuffled his way over to blink at himself in his mirror.

When his eyes finally focused, he blearily realized, with mounting horror, that his hair had become a blanket of black over his shoulder and down his back.

That, and his pajamas didn't fit correctly in the right places anymore.

"J-Jazz?" his voice came out squeaky.

"Yes?" she asked, her tone revealing that she was still in deep shock.

"I think I'm going to fall asleep again," he said, and no sooner had the words been spoken, Danny Fenton, long-time veteran of saving the world and fighting evil megalomaniacs, pitched over in a dead faint.

"Where is Danny?" muttered a miserably wet Sam Manson.

"I think he could still be running to get here," answered Tucker, much more cheerfully than Sam, as he had brought the marvelous invention some call "The Umbrella."

"I'm going to kill him for this," she replied testily, her hair starting to curl at the ends as they heated up from her simmering annoyance.

"And we might not make it to class if we stay," sighed Tucker, his PDA beeping at him noisily; the alarm he had set for them to get to school on time had gone off.

Sam's cell rung loudly in her backpack and she picked it up, growling, "Hello?"

"_Sam?_" cried a familiar voice through the phone, "_Is that you?_"

Sam raised a single eyebrow. "Jazz? How'd you get my number?"

"_That's not important!_" she yelled into the phone, "_There's something seriously wrong with Danny!_"

"What!" cried Sam, tossing her compiled list of "Things to Thoroughly Embarrass Danny For" to the four winds. "What happened! Is he hurt?"

There was a long pause after that statement, and Sam could have sworn she heard a small scuffle ensue before a different, yet extremely familiar voice, joined her in conversation.

"_Sam?_" the new voice asked wearily, "_It would be awfully great if the two of you can rush over to my place really really quick. There's been an…accident._"

Sam felt a wave of dread encompass her before she realized something. "Danny? Is that you?"

There was a long groan on the other end before… "_Yes Sam, it's me. Could you and Tucker _–"

"Come over? Yeah," said Sam quickly, "Sure."

She could practically hear Danny smile with relief over the phone, "_Thanks Sam_."

"This is not what I had in mind when I suggested breaking it to them slowly."

Jazz frantically held up a pink dress before throwing it out, not noticing the horror-filled expression that crossed Danny's face.

Still digging, she barely looked back at her younger brother as she said, "I think they'll take it like grown teenagers. They've seen weirder stuff before right?"

Danny's expression only grew with silent terror as he glanced anywhere but down. "I wouldn't count on that," he muttered, knowing exactly how a "grown teenager" would react in a situation like this, as he had gone through all five stages of denial and it wasn't even past 8:00am yet.

Jazz held up a light grey shirt and black jeans and threw them in Danny's direction. "These will have to do for now," she said, her voice still a little shaky. Danny could tell she was really worried; she hadn't blamed him for anything yet.

"Thanks Jazz," he sighed, grateful for the little things in life.

It was then that the door bell rang.

Sam tapped her foot impatiently. She looked up and down and around, and tried to keep herself occupied. It wasn't working.

"I thought," she muttered, "he said that this was important."

Jazz, Danny's older sister and pseudo-adult, grinned weakly. "It – it is. Yes."

Tucker sighed and morosely tapped at his PDA. "We are _so_ late," he said to no one in particular.

Jazz sighed as well. "Look, you think I don't go to the same school? We're _all_ late," she returned wearily. "It'll be just a moment more. I could only teach him so much in ten minutes."

Both Tucker and Sam frowned. "'Teach?'" they asked in unison, raising an eyebrow each.

"JAZZ!" cried a voice that Sam immediately recognized as Danny's…but, just as on the phone earlier, it had a strange, high, more nasally tone to it. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS THING DOES!"

Jazz jumped into the air as if she was electrocuted. "I'm coming!" she yelled back, some sort of stress making her voice squeak. Quickly, she ran upstairs.

Tucker and Sam blinked as one.

The conversation they heard went as follows:

"You didn't have to scream at me!"

"Oh, I think I have more right to scream than anyone else in the house at the moment."

"Oh jeez, it was just this stupid strap. You made it sound like the apocalypse."

"Jazz, to me, this _is_ the apocalypse."

"You know I could take that as an insult."

"But you're not going to, because this _is_ the _apocalypse_."

"Oh hush. Are you coming out or not?"

"Yeah, yeah…."

Tucker looked apprehensive and Sam shivered as she felt an ominous sense of foreboding fill the room. This, she felt, was Not Good.

Jazz reappeared at the bottom of the stairs.

And behind her, Sam noticed with a horrible sinking feeling in her stomach, came…"Danny?" she asked, her voice barely registering on the same level of normal human hearing.

Long pitch-black hair practically stood up on end. Those familiar ice-blue eyes stared right back at her, completely on edge. Sam saw Danny…but she didn't understand how she did.

Because at the moment, her best friend was not exactly of the male persuasion anymore.


	2. In Which Danny Performs

A/N: Yay for reviews! I noticed that I need to update fast in the _Danny Phantom_ section or I'll be on the third page after the second day! That's fast! (wipes forehead) Yikes….

If you're wondering about anything, or if you see anything that doesn't seem in character, let me know AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I want this to be as canon (with the right dose of fanon) as possible. Also, any spelling or grammar errors in either chapter so far, and I want to KNOW.

-glare-

As soon as possible, if that's possible.

Oh! And a big thanks to all of you who reviewed! MANY HUGS AND PREZZIES!

fallenoccultist

XThe UnwantedX

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ghoulghast

Crazy Hyper Active Kitsune

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**Disclaimer!**: I own…cookies. Lots of cookies. Which I may or may not give to the characters of _Danny Phantom_, over whom I have no claim. That is all.

_P.S._ I don't own "Anthem" by _Good Charlotte_ either. Just lettin' ya'll know.

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**Gender Benders **

_Chapter Two: In Which Danny Performs_

_----------------------------------------------------------------:_

Tucker was of course, still clueless.

"Er," said the girl behind Jazz with a similar inelegance to Danny, "Hello."

Sam just about had a minor aneurysm.

"What the--! How--!" she slapped a hand to her face and dragged it down. Taking a deep breath and letting it out again, Sam straightened her back marginally and tried not to go into catatonic shock. "Danny!" she asked again with quiet hysteria.

Those familiar blue eyes came back up from looking at the, apparently, fascinating carpet, and confirmed her obvious suspicions.

It was about this time that Tucker got it.

Sam wasn't surprised to see Tucker fall off his chair, and as a matter of fact, she completely ignored it.

Jazz made a startled sound and ran over to Tucker's aid, leaving Danny and Sam to continue to stare at each other uncomfortably. Actually, in some distant part of her mind that wasn't trying to pinch herself awake, Sam was surprised to see her friend wearing different clothes. The grey baby-tee and black pants almost darkened her friend's normally bright countenance…. Other than that, he looked almost the same as he normally did.

Aside from the obvious.

"How," asked the Goth girl, "Did this happen?" She finished her question quietly, trying to pretend that nothing, in fact, had really changed. Danny seemed to snap out of his previous awkward moodiness and walked slowly over to where she was standing.

"I don't know," he said, sitting down carefully, as if even the slightest bump would break him in two. "This is all way too weird."

"'Weird' is not the word I would use," said Sam deliberately. "You know, my main concern is _school_."

Danny had collected enough of himself to roll his eyes. "My first worry would've been Mom and Dad," he said, "but they're at the Phantom Convention in Boston." He smiled a wry smile. "The irony kills me."

Sam couldn't help but notice that the isolated part of her mind continued to ponder the 'new and improved' Danny. Silently, she marveled at the difference between the deeper clumsier voice that she had heard everyday for the past three years of their friendship and the new lilting and sweetness that seemed to accompany his voice now. Danny had _really_ nice hair too, and now his facial structure was all…well, it was prominently the same, but is was softer and his cheekbones were higher. Sam thought it was extremely off-putting to think of her best _guy_ friend as a delicate, but 'beautiful girl.'

Sam blinked, and mentally slapped herself.

Ok, that was **it**. This Twilight Zone episode had to end before she ended up stealing him and dressing him up in a skirt.

"Sam?"

Sam shook her head and coughed, a small blush crossing her cheeks. "Yes, sorry." She saw Jazz guiding a shell-shocked Tucker back into the room, and decided that they had to do something. Now.

"What were planning on doing for school?" asked Sam to Jazz, who was making sure that Tucker had closed his mouth and was sitting down before answering. Danny's older sister shrugged helplessly.

"I'm not sure," Jazz said, "but we can't enroll him _again_. That's a lot more trouble then its worth."

"Can't I just stay home?" pleaded Danny from the couch.

Jazz whipped out her authority like she was drawing a gun. "Absolutely not! Your education impaired or not, is vital!" She straightened and ignored Sam and Danny's exasperated expressions. "You can go, just not as yourself."

Sam froze. "You can't be serious," she said slowly.

"She can't be suggesting…" Tucker said faintly, at long last reclaiming his place in the realm of the living.

Danny paled significantly.

Jazz slapped her fist into her palm and nodded firmly.

Danny eventually succumbed with nothing more than a vicious pout as his older sister grabbed his arm and dragged him, quickly followed by his two friends, upstairs.

--------------------------------------------------:

"Alright, we'll go in first," said Sam just above a whisper, "then you follow behind us. Quickly."

Danny blinked and tugged at the tight (well, it was tight to him) grey shirt he was wearing with deceiving calm. "Are you sure it's been scientifically proven that you _can't_ in fact, die of embarrassment?"

Tucker smirked, "It that was true, you'd be dead already." He made a face. "No pun intended."

It had taken some getting used to (understatement), but Tucker seemed to adapt readily to the strange situation. His reasoning included that they had been through some pretty strange stuff already, and despite the obvious tension that had developed between him and Danny due to this…complicated state, Tucker was, as he believed, first and foremost Danny's friend. And in spite of what Danny was going through, Tucker would do his best (along with Sam…hopefully) to keep a calm head on his shoulders, as Danny's would have probably spontaneously combusted without them.

"Ha," managed Danny in a strangled voice. He gulped and tapped his foot against the dirt with badly hidden anxiety.

Jazz also had brought out make-up, which had scared Danny so much, he had actually bolted out the door with a speed he didn't know he had. But Jazz, being the older of the two, commanded some sort of authority. And Tucker and Sam thought (even though they both felt slightly guilty for it) that giving Danny a make-over would be hilarious. So they, on Jazz's orders, dragged Danny back, kicking and screaming, so that he could be made 'presentable.' Danny swore vengeance.

Having long hair herself, Jazz had also attacked her brother's now very long hair with all the implements of destruction she owned. Eventually, even Sam reluctantly joined in. They had made it look less like a large knotted mass, and more like a curtain, pinning his already messy bangs behind his ear with a metal pin. _Apparently_, Danny thought with not a little glower in his mental voice, _My hair is just 'begging' to be played with._

There were also random accessories added by Jazz and Sam both, to make sure that he reminded everyone of _anyone_ other then Danny Fenton. Danny had agreed on one thing; it had worked.

"Ready?" asked Sam. Jazz had insisted earlier on going ahead, as any contact with this new Danny could be used as evidence if anything slipped out.

"As I'll ever be," muttered Danny, unconsciously trying to make his voice lower out of habit.

Sam and Tucker gave him reassuring smiles before slipping out of the bushes and striding swiftly toward Casper High.

Danny waited approximately five minutes before slipping out himself. He brushed himself off, nervously avoiding certain areas, and looking straight ahead he began to walk.

They had decided to stick to a 'cousin' story, as that was the only possible thing, really. Jazz had done some quick research and had found a loophole that would hold for about a week. Technically, as long as you were apart of the family, you could fill in for a student for a week without any real excuse before the guardians of said student had to send in their official notice. Jazz said that a week was short, but long enough to set up extra alibis and some prepping for the explanation they might have to give to Maddie and Jack Fenton, should Danny not return to normal within the aforementioned week. Also, Danny and his friends, plus Jazz, all agreed that calling his new persona 'Danni' might not be the smartest thing to do. So Jazz, Sam and Tucker huddled out of earshot with a name book, and together, they came up with a solution.

Danny was trying to avoid looking at anyone directly as he reached the front entrance. Before he could open them, he heard a faint high-pitched sound to the right.

He turned to look for the source of the sound, silently begging he had just been hallucinating.

A small group of guys that he was sure weren't of the Jock crowd, were looking at him. Actually, looking wasn't the right verb; they were _leering_.

Danny slowly turned back to face the doors, his hand starting to tighten around the handles so much that were indents beginning to form on the handles. He counted to ten in his head, a few more whistles and cat-calls echoing through the open air. He took a step forward, willing to forget all about it until….

"Hey," a voice said near his ear, far too close for comfort.

Danny jumped back and turned around, startled by the nearness of the sound, and almost pulled a martial arts stance out of thin air before collecting himself. He blinked and looked up into a very familiar face.

"Muh," he said in shock.

"You must be new here," said Paulina Sanchez, official Queen Bee of Casper High, and former crush of our young Danny Fenton. She eyed him with feigned interest. "I'm Paulina Sanchez," she said in a voice made of honey.

Danny quickly tried to collect his wits before they all came spilling out onto the concrete. He stood up straighter and smiled nervously. "Nice to meet you," he managed in what he hoped was a casual tone. _Why on earth is she even talking to me?_ Danny asked himself this question, curiosity almost overriding his panic.

She looked him over once, a bored expression evident on her face. "You don't look like loser material," she said in a slightly scathing voice. "You should probably hang out near me during lunch," she continued to a completely shocked Danny. She tilted her head and smiled a smile that sent a strange and completely unwelcome shiver down Danny's spine. "Although, you might want to get rid of that bracelet, it _so_ doesn't match your shirt."

As the popular princess spun around and waltzed inside without so much as a backwards glance, Danny found himself in a strange sort of fury. And it wasn't the usual annoyance that he got from Dash Baxter's bullying. Inwardly, Danny seethed, for the first time, really irritated at a _girl_ (Valerie didn't count). Who on earth did she think she was?

A flash of luminescent green in the door's windows in front of him warned him that his control was slipping, and Danny once more took deep breaths. Finally collecting himself, he opened the (now slightly mangled) front doors and headed to the school Office, his mind still swimming with confusion and not a bit of anger.

----------------------------------------------:

"And you're here as a stand-in for Mr. Fenton?"

"Yes," answered Danny with little confidence.

Mr. Lancer stared at the young girl before him a strange look on his face. "You must be his cousin, you look far too similar to be anything less," he said with mild interest, looking for a guest pass.

"Right!" Danny chirped. He caught himself just before he could start hitting his head on the desk. He had _chirped_! Would the madness never end?

"We will need confirmation from his parents that he is, in fact, out sick," Mr. Lancer added suspiciously. "Otherwise, young lady, you will be in serious violation of our school codes." He handed her a pass and a pen. "Is that clear?"

"Crystal," said Danny assuredly even though he felt nothing of the sort. He put the pen to the paper of the guest pass, and after he was done, he handed the pen back to Mr. Lancer.

As he was putting on the guest pass, Mr. Lancer gave him another strange look. "Ms. Lenore Blake?" he asked.

"Ah, yes?" Danny responded with a little wobble in his voice, making it squeak slightly.

Mr. Lancer, to Danny's ever-lasting surprise, gave him a sincere smile. "With your name, I'm sure you'll do fine in my class," he said standing as he spoke, "You may even raise Mr. Fenton's grade while you're here." He said this with a despondent tone, which Danny noticed but refrained himself from commenting on. As Jazz would have said, it would cause unwanted suspicion.

"You might as well follow me," said Mr. Lancer after a moment, "You have my class first." And as they walked out the door of the office, Danny pondered what Lancer truly felt about Danny Fenton, trouble student extraordinaire.

-------------------------------------------:

"Class?"

The chattering ceased almost immediately. Most of the students respected Mr. Lancer, although they might mock him behind his back. At least they showed respect upfront. Lancer appreciated that much.

Danny couldn't help but dart a few nervous glances over in Sam and Tucker's direction. He was surreptitious about it, so that no one really noticed. They noticed however, since they knew Danny far better then anyone else in the room, and gave him identical reassuring grins.

"This is Ms. Lenore Blake," Mr. Lancer said in his usual bland tone. "She will be taking Mr. Fenton's place for a week while he's out sick. I expect you to treat her with courtesy."

He turned to Danny and nodded. "You may take Mr. Fenton's seat, as it is the only available space," he said and pointed in Sam and Tucker's direction, who pretended to look only vaguely interested.

Danny nodded back, smiling weakly, and quickly moved to the back of the classroom. As he sat down, he observed that Paulina was watching him with a calculating stare, something he had never seen her do before. Pretending to not have a clue, Danny stared straight ahead, the nervous gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach coming back full-force.

Sam's hand landed on his back and he almost skittered out of his seat. Her other hand put a small piece of paper in his lap. She moved her hand away after a reassuring pat.

Danny, trying to look as if he was paying attention, let his eyes wander down (still a disturbing sight) and his fingers nimbly opened the note.

_You ok? You still breathing? Has anybody tried to hit on you yet? Because I can hurt them if you want me to. Tucker was gnawing on his pencil earlier. He didn't even touch his PDA. Give him props for that later; it must have taken extreme willpower. I just wanted to make sure you haven't died of embarrassment, despite what Tucker said earlier._

_With Dark Goth-like Affection,_

_Sam_

Inside, Danny smiled. He had the best friends _ever_.

----------------------------------------------------------:

The class bell rung, signaling lunch.

Danny was beginning to like the feeling of not having to pretend he was weak and clumsy (though sometimes, he was still clumsy anyway). Under this persona, he could move like he normally would as Phantom, which was refreshing to him in ways he could not describe.

Sam, watching Danny leave the classroom first (yadda yadda blown cover, yes, she _knows_), noticed how smooth Danny's movements had become in the past class period. _He must be starting to relax_, she thought curiously.

Tucker stood up with her and, as one, they moved toward the door, keeping two eyes (one from each) on Danny, who had suddenly stopped walking.

"Uh oh," she heard Danny mumble under his breath.

Sensing that this might be a cue, Sam moved in. But before she could say anything, the last person she expected got there first.

"You need help finding his locker?"

Valerie had finally made her appearance.

Danny grinned sheepishly. "Nobody told me where it was," he said refraining from rubbing the back of his neck.

Valerie just smiled and patted Danny on the back, a movement which made a certain part of Sam's brain scream in fury. "I'm surprised," Valerie said with a surprised look, "I thought Mr. Lancer would've told you first thing."

"Maybe he forgot," Danny said quickly, his nervousness slipping back into place. "You know where it is?" he asked, hope in his voice.

"Yeah," said Valerie with a grin, starting to walk. "You and Danny must be close," she said, "I mean, if you're taking his place in school."

Danny nodded and smiled. "We've known each other pretty well for just about, ever," he said, completely truthful.

Sam refrained from rolling her eyes as the two walked off, and proceeded to head to the cafeteria, Tucker following behind. She could tell he was snickering and she closed her eyes.

"Tuck, if you are going to say anything," Sam said with the air of casual conversation, "Then don't."

The snickering quickly turned into a polite cough, and the two friends continued their journey in silence.

-----------------------------------------------:

Danny followed Valerie down a familiar corridor. He was surprised at how well Valerie was treating him, but then again, it was weird to have girls talk to him as if he were one of their own. He was really trying not to think along those lines, as it gave him this cold shiver that never seemed to leave.

The silence allowed him to think a bit. How long was he going to be stuck like this? He didn't even know what he did to upset Artemis in the first place. How was he supposed to apologize if he didn't know what to apologize for! It was a bit of a dilemma.

This was the apocalypse. He was a guy! Being a girl wasn't part of any great change _he_ was supposed to go through.

"Here we are!" said Valerie, who waved her arms in a flourish.

Danny grinned and proceeded to open his own locker, when he stopped and groaned.

"What?" asked Valerie with raised eyebrows.

Danny tried not to smack himself in the face. "I don't know the combination."

"Oh that's ok," said Valerie with great enthusiasm, "I can do it."

He blinked. "What?" he asked in a dumb-founded voice, "I mean, really?"

Valerie, one of the most merciless ghost hunters in Amity, blushed slightly. "Um, yeah. It's not that hard to remember when you see him do it every morning."

Danny was trying hard not to show any surprise, but it was starting to get really difficult. "You're with him every morning?" he asked, knowing full-well that the answer was no.

Valerie proceeded to face the locker, though her blush suddenly became more prominent. "Uh yeah, that's it," she said, a nervous trill entering her voice. She fiddled with the locker and it opened with a creaking noise. "There you go," she said, still embarrassed. "It was great to meet you," she said, rushing through her words, "I'll-I'll see you at lunch, ok?"

Exit Valerie, pursued by an invisible bear.

Danny, still in a shell-shocked state of mind, put his books away and took some out. Whatever he was expecting, that was certainly not it.

-------------------------------------------------------:

Lunch was difficult.

Later in his life, Danny would remember this particular lunch period as one of the most harrowing moments in his adolescent years.

It all started, as most of his problems did, with Dash Baxter.

Danny had entered the cafeteria with a lingering stunned sensation. The way Valerie had acted before…was she watching him every morning? Jeez, that was kind of flattering and completely creepy at the same time.

It was on automatic instinct that he started towards Sam and Tucker before he realized what he was doing. He stopped in the middle of the cafeteria and paused for thought.

"Lenore Blake, right?"

Danny seized up and whipped his head around so fast it might as well have fallen off.

Dash Baxter stared down at him like he was some sort of meal. It was, to say the least, disturbing.

"R-right," he answered slowly, looking around for any kind of escape at all. Dash was someone he was not in the mood to deal with, but as Lenore, there was no real reason to leave.

"You lookin' for a place to sit?" he asked him in a suave voice that made half of Danny's brain twitch in disgust while the other half shocked itself into submission. That was happening a lot lately.

"Yeah," Danny gritted out, as if the mere admission to such a thing caused him physical pain. "I am."

"You can sit with us," Dash said, as if it was the biggest privilege in the world to sit in his presence. Danny wondered in the distant part of his mind, whether or not Dash had ever been dropped on the head as a baby.

"I wouldn't," said Danny as if he was talking to an exceptionally slow person, "want to impose." He edged away from Dash as one would edge away from the plague.

Dash laughed in an obnoxious manner that involuntarily made Danny's stomach churn with resentment. "Yeah, right, whatever that means," he said, chuckling. "Just as long as you don't sit with those _losers_," he added, jerking a thumb at Tucker and Sam's table.

Danny frowned. "You _do_ know who I'm related to, right?" he asked shortly, getting annoyed with his own façade.

Dash scoffed. "Yeah, that loser Fentonio," he said carelessly, taking Danny's tone the wrong way, "I'd never imagine it though." He tilted his head and gave Danny what was supposed to be a charming look. Danny just thought it made him look drugged.

"Heh, and why would you think that?" asked Danny innocently, even though his hands were starting to melt the plastic tray he was holding.

"Well, a pretty girl like you couldn't possibly be related to that weirdo," Dash said, unknowingly digging himself into a hole no human could ever dig themselves out of.

Danny seemed to stop twitching, and smiled slowly. It was a smile that boded something disastrous; something so horrible, that no words in the English language could describe its malevolence.

"Really," he said, biting the words off syllable by syllable. His eyes started to glow, ever so slightly.

However, before any bloodshed could occur, a hand placed itself on Danny's shoulder.

"There you are!" cried Sam, "Lenore, right? You know, we're best friends of Danny's. You should come sit with us, ok? Oh, that's great to hear you say that! Bye!"

Sam yanked Danny over to their solitary corner so fast, dust was still left floating in the places where she had passed.

"Deep soothing breaths Danny," she murmured, clutching her friend's shoulders, which were beyond the word 'tense.' "He's a moron, and you know it. Do not blow up the cafeteria." She paused for a moment where they reached their usual table, with Tucker sitting there looking wide-eyed. Then, Sam added, "Please."

A low growl emitted from the depths of Danny's throat as he sat down. He was surprised to find that he had, in fact, melted his tray to his hands. This did not help to improve his disposition.

"Wow," Tucker finally said as Danny snapped his fingers loose from his tray, "I totally thought you were gonna go ghost on that sorry boy's behind."

"So was I," admitted Danny after a short pause where his eyes turned back to normal and his hands were free. He had said it before, and he would say it again: Thank God Dash was a moron. Ew. He was never going to be able to undo that scene from his head. Ew. Ew. Ew.

Sam shook her head and made her own angry noise in Dash Baxter's direction. "Have I mentioned that I loathe them?" she said with great vehemence.

"Yes," echoed Tucker and Danny.

Danny sighed. "I think I might be better off hiding. Why did Jazz insist on an education?" he asked to the air.

"Because she's _Jazz_," Sam emphasized.

"Oh right," said Danny in a dry voice, "I forgot." He looked at his hands, which were now slender and refined looking and he grimaced. "Have I ever asked the 'why me?' question, or is it too late?" he said in a numb voice.

"Never too late," said Sam with sympathy, "but it's still completely unanswerable."

----------------------------------------------:

Having established that they had now met, the trio now could talk and walk together again. Danny was glad to have the support of his friends, which he had sorely missed this morning, and was chatting about anything he could think of to clear his mind of the Situation. Valerie had taken a shine to Lenore, and was happy to talk and walk with them, despite the heavy loathing that was coming from Sam's corner o' malice.

Danny found that being a girl meant talking like one, and since Sam wasn't exactly the best candidate for practice (he would never EVER say that out loud), Danny listened to Valerie instead. And he learned.

He swore he would try to forget everything after this ordeal was over (if it ever ended, that is). It was far too alarming a thought to think that he had ever been a girl at all.

Unfortunately for Danny, despite his previous torment, today's horrors were not yet done.

"The Talent Show mandatory try-outs are this afternoon," said Sam as they stood outside the double door entrance to the gym. Her tone was reminiscent of someone who had just remembered that she was due for an execution later today.

"Oh that's right," Valerie said, far more cheerfully, but not by much. She looked to Danny. "Are you gonna do anything? I don't think it's mandatory for you," she said, trailing off in a questioning tone.

"Then I'm probably n-," started Danny before getting elbowed in the side violently by Sam. "-ot going to dance or anything," revised Danny quickly, fearing for his ribs.

"What can you do?" asked Sam, full of hope that her question from yesterday might finally be answered.

"I might –," began Danny.

"You losers are actually trying out?" a snide voice interrupted from their right.

Paulina had come back, bringing along Star, much to everyone's dismay.

"Well we have to don't we?" Valerie said coldly, "It's not like we have much of a choice."

"Oh I know that," Paulina said waving her hand casually as Star snickered, "I was just pointing out the uselessness of having that girl try out." She smirked at Danny, who was just starting to try and edge out of the conversation. "I mean, it's not like she has any talents what so ever, being related to that Fenton loser."

"One: it's Lenore, ok?" Sam growled. "Use her name."

"Ooh," Star exclaimed with mock excited tones. "You're defending her already? Must be some freaky form of Goth love!"

Danny was surprised to hear this, although not as surprised as he would have been if he hadn't met Paulina just this morning. He didn't really notice that Sam was blushing like mad.

"Well," he interjected pointedly, "I might do it anyway."

Paulina made a point to laugh. "What can you do? Be yourself? That would be a great act, I'm sure. You're already freakish enough," she said in an unpleasant tone. She turned around and walked into the gym while Star followed behind, her nose in the air.

Sam was clenching and unclenching her fists. Danny recognized this as one of her many methods to assure no homicidal rage would occur.

Danny felt a familiar anger boil up inside of him. It had been weirdly infuriating this morning, when Paulina had seen fit to antagonize him because he was 'new'. He had never seen her act that way around guys, after all. Now it was personal.

"You know," said he, in a calm voice. "I think I will go and try out. Now's as good a time as any, right?"

And before anyone could say anything, Danny marched through the double doors, leaving behind two stunned friends and one confused Valerie.

------------------------------------------:

"You guys know what you're doing?"

"You got it babe," said the guy with spiked hair. He grinned at Danny and winked to the rest of his band, who all nodded with similar expressions. Danny refrained from rolling his eyes.

"Can I have the guitar?" he asked one of the guys. He gave Danny a disbelieving expression.

"You for real girl?" he said in a skeptical tone.

Danny swore that if he heard one more female related comment, he was giving _something_ a serious butt kicking.

"Yes," he said with great finality. The guitarist shrugged to his band mates and handed Danny the guitar.

"Suit yourself girlie."

Maybe he could use all this built up anger on Vlad. Yeah, that ought to do it.

As Danny took hold of the guitar, tuning it as he did so, he saw Sam run up to the edge of the stage.

"Da—Lenore! You don't have to do this," she said breathlessly, "Really, I was just kidding earlier!"

Danny frowned. "I'll be fine," he said calmly, just above a whisper. "Just watch." He picked at the guitar lightly, smiling confidently. Sam just gulped and nodded, backing away into the small crowd. She had no idea….

Mr. Lancer spoke into the loudspeaker, "Lenore Blake, you're up next!"

'Lenore' moved forward into the light, and without wasting anytime, he struck the guitar, opening a song that Sam suddenly recognized.

_It's a new day  
But it all feels old,  
It's a good life,  
That's what I'm told,  
But everything, it all just feels the same…_

Sam gaped. When he had mentioned doing something for the talent show, she had no idea that this was what he had in mind. While Danny played, fingers practically dancing up and down the strings, Sam could only begin to ask one thing: Where they heck had he learned to play the guitar?

_And my high school  
It felt more to me  
Like a jail cell,  
A penitentiary  
My time spent there, it only made me see…_

A swarm had started to pour in from outside, joining the now cheering crowd in which Sam, Valerie, and Tucker were standing. The band backing Danny was good enough that the song didn't fall apart, and so they were close to sounding professional. Danny was, to Sam's unrelenting astonishment, a very good singer. It hardly registered on Sam's weird-shit-o-meter that the voice singing was an octave higher than usual. It hardly mattered.

As her friend continued to sing, the small group that had been standing there originally had morphed into a throng of people that filled most of the gym.

_Do you really wanna be like them?  
Do you really wanna be another trend?  
Do you wanna be part of that crowd?  
'Cause I don't ever wanna  
I don't ever wanna be_

_**You…**  
Don't wanna be just like you  
What I'm sayin' is  
This is the anthem_

_Throw all your hands up _

_You  
Don't wanna be just like you _

_This is the anthem  
Throw all your hands up  
Y'all got to feel me, sing if you're with me  
Another loser anthem...!_

As Danny finished with one final flourish of guitar chords, Sam swore half the student body had crammed itself into the already over crowded gym, and all of them were cheering. She ripped her gaze from Danny for a moment to see Tucker dumb-founded, his PDA recording the whole thing. _Well,_ thought Sam, _At least we'll have proof_.

Danny was sweating and laughing, giving high fives to the supporting band, who were all whistling and yelling various forms of congratulations. After handing one of the band members their guitar, Danny leapt off the stage and headed toward his friends, ignoring most of the cheering crowd that had gathered. Inside her head, Sam smiled; Danny was practically glowing. She had never seen him stand so straight.

When he finally reached them, Sam wasn't sure what to say. "Where…how…?" she began, gesturing helplessly with her hands. Danny blinked, oblivious.

"I think she's trying to ask you," said Tucker slowly, "How the heck did you _do_ that, dude?"

"What?" said Danny in surprise. He just grinned a small grin and leaned down, his expression exasperated and little sheepish "You think that guitar in my room was just for decoration?" he asked them in a whisper.

Sam and Tucker gave him identical pained looks. Danny shrugged embarrassed.

"Lenore!" cried Valerie, who had squeezed through the throng. "That was totally awesome! I can't believe you know how to play the guitar!"

And as the conversation followed the four sometimes friends (sometimes enemies, but that was usually just Danny and Valerie) out of the gym, it was interrupted by various students giving comments like 'Totally Cool!' and 'That was awesome!' Only one girl was left glaring from the back, planning a few unkind things.

-------------------------------------------:

Jazz had been in the gym. She had ran after Danny as soon as he had left, catching up with the three friends just a few feet outside of school grounds. Valerie had said her good byes a few minutes earlier, saying she had a job to do. Jazz was breathing heavily and her hair was askew, but she was smiling.

"Where the heck did you learn the guitar?" she cried, waving her arms. Danny pretended to shield himself while laughing.

"It was just something I picked up. I didn't really wanna tell anyone," he answered, hiding behind Sam. Tucker was smirking at them, but Sam pointedly ignored it.

"Why the heck not?" Sam asked, looking over her shoulder. "You were great!"

Danny paused and stared at her, as if he couldn't believe she had actually said that. "Really?" he asked in a small voice.

"Ye-es," Sam answered, drawing out the word to make it more obvious.

Danny actually blushed, which, to the other three, looked very strange.

Then, he shivered, and groaned aloud.

Sam felt her previous well-feeling drop like a stone into a pit of foreboding. "A ghost? Now?" she exclaimed.

Danny sighed. "Well, it shouldn't be too bad right? I mean, this curse thing shouldn't affect my other half, right?"

Jazz nodded, but she looked uncertain. "I'm not sure. The only way to know for certain is to try it."

Danny nodded and stepped back. He quickly scanned to see if anyone was near before shouting, "Goin' ghost!"

And as the ring of bright blue light encircled him, Danny closed his eyes, hoping against all hope that he would still be….

"Oh no," he heard Jazz gasp. Danny's hopes plummeted into hard concrete.

"He's still a girl," managed Sam in a horrified manner. He could hear Tucker slap his hand to his face.

"Oh no…"


End file.
